Afternoons in the Retirement home PT.1

I spent my first afternoon in a retirement home the other day, specifically the ‘belong retirement home’ located in Wigan. It took me a shocking hour and a half to travel there, on a sweltering hot day, in which efforts were made to dress smart, although I ended up hotboxing my own body in a disgusting sweaty polyester mess. Once I got there I thought I would feel relief when stepping foot inside the building although it was hit with another wall of heat, generated specifically for the older residents.

I got chatting to a few different people, a bit of a challenge as there were a few who had severe hearing issues, and I was very clearly shouting over the room. As somebody who is also a chronic mumbler, I met my first challenge on my path to becoming a journalist.

I first got up the courage to chat to Rob and Mary; such a beautiful couple, originally meeting in the psychiatric ward of a monumental hospital that no longer stands, that after researching I can only assume is Billinge hospital. Originally founded in 1837 as a workhouse before being taken over by Wigan County Borough Council in 1930, then demolished in 2016.

 Rob and Mary met in 1969, I asked them what originally drew them to each other, and they seemed almost too timid to respond, before shyly saying how tolerant each other were, although it really came down to a sense of humour. They mentioned that although they worked through the late sixties, they were still working with patients who were admitted to the psychiatric ward in the 1950s; including people who were diagnosed with being ‘demented’ when having a simple case of depression or in one case even constipation. 

Some UK asylums remained open until the early 2000s, although it was the (arguably controversial) health minister Enoc Powell who first initiated the process of deinstitutionalisation of the UK in the early 60s. Advocating for a shift away from large psychiatric units, for more outpatient clinics, day centers, and local authority managed support. This was almost seven years before Powell became publicly associated with the topics of immigration, and was not yet “testing the waters” or seeking to appeal to populist sentiment. 

Rob and Mary's life was hectic, at one point in their schedules even demanding opposite working hours, Rob working through the night and Mary throughout the day. They joked they even had a ‘turnover book’ just for themselves.

I questioned how mental health stigma had changed over the years. As an outsider to the world of psychiatry, it's quite obvious that the mid 20th century wasn’t the best for anyone who wasn't a mentally sound person. They took a sharp breath in before saying “alot.” I asked them to expand but they mostly kept repeating the statement “they wanted to hospitalise those who went against the rules.” They also mentioned how people are simply believed these days, they're more empathetic and they're even just willing to admit certain conditions exist. 

Rob and Mary were a delight to talk to and I found their passion and interest for their work fascinating. I’m actually very eager to go back and chat with them so hopefully we can reconnect soon and discuss more about their rich lives. 

I also spoke to Elaine Jones whose passion for dancing shone through all else. She was the only resident who had a message for her younger self “stand up for yourself.” I asked her what drove her to say that… “I was always backwards and coming forwards if you understand” (meaning she was reluctant to express her opinions or take initiative.) It wasn't long before we quickly moved back onto dancing, and her love for it. She talked about bopping and jiving, and how the 60s was her favourite era because of how popular certain dance moves were. The word bopping originated in Jazz culture in the 1930s although eventually graduated into rock and roll culture within the 60s most popular with teenagers and fans of early rock, rhythm and blues, practiced mostly at dance halls or informal gatherings. Similarly Jive started as a swing dance in the 1930s and 1940s, but in the 1950s and '60s, it became faster and more stylized to fit the rock and roll beat. Jiving in the 1960s was energetic, often involving kicks, spins, and complex footwork.

She was also briefly a member of GFS (Girls friendly society: a weekly group aimed at providing a framework for girls and young women to socialize, learn, and grow in a supportive environment, usually targeting marginalised communities.) We talked about its similarity to scouts and how Elaine would have never have been able to join. I asked if the gender divide bothered her but she immediately said no, later letting me know as she got older she did become involved with scouts and later became a leader..

Elaine commented on how their generation was held back when growing up, “you were always frightened of expressing yourself..” although further commented on how she wouldn't like to be young in this decade either because of social media. “I did have a computer but it got on my nerves.” Elaine said she actually met her second partner online, although no longer together because she's “happy by herself,” she commented “I was fed up of going out and never picking anybody up…”   

I asked her about her first husband and if she enjoyed married life, she joked that she probably shouldn't answer that, before commenting on how he was domineering. I asked if she was talking about him when she was talking about sticking up for herself and she nodded with a knowing smile. I assumed they would have met on the dancefloor due to Elaine's passion for dance although she informed me they met in a pub, similar to many generations before me, we laughed about how painfully British this was. 

She grabbed my hand before she left and squeezed it tight before thanking me. She said it was nice to talk about something different for a change, the usual talk of the care home was grandchildren and what they're up to. Eleene mentioned she didn't have grandchildren but mostly seemed unbothered. I smiled and said goodbye, coming away from the experience feeling at ease and my initial nerves of my first interview in a new environment completely washed away.